Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
