Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
