my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
