She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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