OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
