Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
