Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
