Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
