glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
