So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
