apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
