I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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