PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
