Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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