i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
