So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize