My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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