I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
