vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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