You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it was like eating out sand paper
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
