i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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