you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
