addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
