but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
