its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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