the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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