Screwed.edu
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I fill condoms, not promises.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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