How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i think my tv is drunk
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
