How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Come see our sink grown plant.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
