it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
