But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Randomize
