Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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