before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
