"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
