Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
