Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
