Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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