Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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