I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
