Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
