why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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