Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
