maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
