pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
