Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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