my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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