I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
