Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize