I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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