Your face is a jimmy john
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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