theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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