I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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