So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
