bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
