She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
