I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
