Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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