I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
