I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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