i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
